I Get By...

I took a walk earlier with Sean and Mike. We walked to the store, then to Mikes to drop him off. Sean and I were walking home, and we got onto the topic of why I came back from my trip across country with Seth.

And to be honest with everyone, I feel like a total fucking idiot for coming back. If there is one thing I wish I could go back and prevent, it would be the bus leaving Key West with me inside. I would go back and run off of the bus, and chase down the van. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to come home. Yeah, I missed all my friends and family...

But they will always be my friends and family. Spending time with Seth was probably one of the best times of my life. I never met someone quite like him, nor will I ever meet someone like him ever again. To be honest, again, when I was around him, I felt happy.

That may be the crush I've developed while with him, or just the atmosphere around him. But whatever it was, I like it. And I like him. And I hate, I HATE myself for letting that bus take me away from there.

Not much I can do anymore though. I am the worlds biggest fuck up.

Just figured I would write about what was going through my mind currently. So yeah...

Started doing something I stopped doing some time ago.

I was bored the other day, and had the urge to write. So I went online, found a torrent file for FinalDraft 7, and downloaded it. I am back into screenplay writing. Which is fantastic, because I am picking up on the zombie flick Sean and I started writing. Already started revising what we had. Cutting some characters, adding others. Keeping the same story.

As far as production goes, we're gonna need some girls for the cast. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have very many girl friends hanging around. So, if you want to be in a zombie movie, lemme know.

What happened to family values? I don't understand why my brother and sisters feel that they can get away with mistreating my mother the way that they do. I don't think I've ever felt so sick in my entire life.

My older sister and her boyfriend started talking about how they want to kick her out of the house. Now, my mother does everything for these two. She cooks, cleans, gets up in the morning with the kids, not to mention basically has custody of my useless brother's daughter because he and his ex girlfriend are homeless and can't even take care of themselves. But they use my mother to no end until they get what they want, then pull stupid shit like this.

I was called by my mom's boyfriend, who was very upset. He had me call my mom to talk her down from her freak out attack. So I did. I got her to calm down, and told her I would call her right back. So then I called my older sister who was at my gram's. I've never been so furious. I am pretty sure my sister hates me now, but I don't care. You DO not treat your own mother like that. Especially when she does every little thing for you.

I can't stand it. I get stuck in the middle of everything because I am the most stable. The most dependable. Yes, I love my family, but I shouldn't be the one that has to fix everything, every single time. It's too damn stressful. I have my own problems to attend to...

So, this is a game that I have been looking forward to for some time. Stephen and I planned to get it to play online with each other, which won't happen until he gets back from training in Cali.

The game consists of two main characters; Elliot Salem and Tyson Rios. Personally, I play as Rios. Anyway, the game is set around a few real wars. The two I remember the most is what the movie Black Hawk Down was based off of. In Mogadishu. The other one is current, and takes place in Afghanistan after 911.

Throughout the game, you do objectives and collect money. You can use that money to buy new weapons and update them. You can also purchase new masks for your character. It's a fantastic game, but...very short. I've already beat it and am currently on the next difficulty with Ryan.

I take back my previous entry entitled Brawl.

At first, I wasn't expecting much from the game, but after playing it for hours, and unlocking every character in the game, I've come to really love it. Even more so than Melee. It has a numerous amount of new characters, new items, new stages, etc. It is great, and should prove to be a great time at Evo.

My favorite characters:
Pokemon Trainer
Ike
Meta Knight
Mario

Great characters. Great gameplay. It's fucking fantastic.

So appearantly...as it has come to be, Jon decided to message me the other day, thinking anything he could say or do would hurt me in some fashion. That faggot thinks he is cool shit because he's turned an old friend of mine into the worlds biggest homo, who refuses to talk to his old friends. This is the message I got from them on Facebook.

Brandon this is Jon, you want to know whats pathetic? your life, your mere existence is pathetic!!! the fact that you will never leave hillsboro and you were blessed with the looks of a monkeys ass is even more pathetic! But im not writing to insult you, you already have to look in the mirror every day and im sure thats torture enough. My boyfriend, Justin wants nothing to do with you or any of your pathetic friends. im just reiterating the fact because none of justin's hints have seemed to sink in. get a life and grow up! there is more to the world than what you experienced in high school, and carrying it into the rest of your life makes you look like a fool! just for the record you and all those go-nowhere friends of yours should be thankful for the friendship that Justin did share with you years ago. Instead of clinging to him like leeches! thats pathetic, and im sorry you have to live with yourself. isnt there a thirty something man in your life you could be clinging to.Get off of mine!!!!!! one more thing, with the exception of a response to this, you may never contact justin again or we will have some serious problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I try. I try so had and it doesn't ever stop, or go away, or let me rest. For some reason, I just can't help but get jealous / a little upset when I think about Josh being with another guy. I am, for the most part, over him. But part of me still wants to be with him. But the whole of me still loves the guy, and I won't ever stop.

I just want to not feel this way when I know he is with someone else. It is a feeling that unsettles my stomach, and it makes me wanna throw up just a bit. I hate it.

Don't get me wrong, I want him to be happy. I really do. It's just...it still hurts when I know he isn't with me, nor wants to be with me. Especially when I think about his next relationship. Whoever he dates could prevent him from ever hanging out with me again. Or just take up so much time I never get to see or hang out with him. And I can't stand that thought. Not at all. My eyes are watering just thinking about it. God...someone distract me so I stop thinking about it, please...

"We invite the most dedicated and skilled Arena combatants around the world to enter the new World of Warcraft Arena Tournament. Your glorious victories in the tournament will not only grant recognition and renown for your prowess, but they'll earn your team a chance to win cash prizes as well.

Within a structured format comprising two six-week-long qualifying rounds, players will battle on special tournament realms purely dedicated to the competitive format of 3v3 Arena matches. The characters used on these realms are new level 70s that you create, decked to the brim with PvP armor and weapons. The top teams from each qualifier will battle in regional live events, culminating in the global finals, which will feature a total prize pool of $120,000 -- $75,000 of which will go to the grand-prize-winning team!

Tournament registration is open to any active World of Warcraft account. Registration costs one payment of $20.00, which grants one World of Warcraft account access to the tournament realms for the duration of the six-week tourney. Players will be able to create up to three new characters on these realms, instantly level them to 70, and deck them out with a full set of PvP gear. Then form your new 3v3 team and enter the Arenas, where a whole new level of competitive play awaits you. Good luck!"

                           -World of Warcraft website.

Check out the official page here: <a href="http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/pvp/tournament/index.xml"><Tournament Page</a>

 

Yep, so C.J. told me not to come into work today because it is rainy as hell. And lets face it, no one is going to want to go snowboarding or skiing in the rain. It just makes no sense what so ever.

So now, I am just hanging around. Probably going to play some WoW...eventually. PvP server as my troll; Toya.

Later today should prove to most interesting. After the one act plays at the High School (very good, btw. Go see them), Ryan, Mike, and I are going to either Keene or Amherst until a little after midnight. Before midnight there is a Super Smash Bros. Melee tournament, and the winner get $50.00, equivalent to buying Super Smash Bros. Brawl, which comes out Sunday morning. So it shall be worth the time of day (or night, rather).

Cell will be on if anyone wants to call or text me during that time. Do it, you won't.

Short entry, just as a heads up.

Today, it was announced that Super Smash Bros. Brawl will be game number 4 for EvoEast. Which totally pisses me off because now I don't stand a chance in the tournament unless I buy and play the game endlessly. This is gonna be so much work, and I am gonna be very dead by the time it comes to play in Evo.

Oi...wish me luck...

Realm: Arathor
Character name: Wesker
Class: Hunter
Spec: Beast Mastery / Marksmanship    41/20/0
Level: 70


Guilds like Temerity on the game World of Warcraft (WoW) are what make people who play the game, go insane. No lie. For some ungodly reason, they seem to think they are better than every other person on WoW. Bullshit. Just because you spend every waking moment on the game, doesn't make you a better person.

I was in Temerity for a while. I signed up for raids, and went to the locations, waiting for invites. And every time, they disregarded my presence. Today was what made me snap. I was told that EVERYONE who signed up for Gruul's Layer would get in. So I signed up. Got on the game an hour early, found the location, and waited. I was the second person there. When 8:45 pm est came around, everyone started showing up. And guess who wasn't invited? Yep. Yours truely.

So I quit. I'm sick of the shit that guild pulls. It's complete and total shit. I don't need them.

Play WoW and are on the Arathor realm? Enjoy the elitests. They're fucking everywhere and it is nearly impossible to get into a guild that doesn't have any in it. Good luck with that shit.

Justin Scarelli. A guy we all thought highly of. To some of us, we were so close that we even considered him to be a brother. Especially when he acted more like one than your blood brother did.

Congratulations, Justin. You're the second biggest homo I have ever met. That is...aside from the guy you are with.

Now, I'm gay myself, so all you readers do not think I am a gay basher or a homophobic asshole.

Justin, what happened to you? We were close. I thought you and I were going to write scripts, make movies, and do all kinds of shit together. Like friends. Like brothers. Then you came out of the closet, which was fine. Great, in fact. We all knew you were and just refused to say anything on the off chance that you'd find it offensive. But once you started dating Johnny, you became an entirely different person. He molded you into what he wanted you to become. A flaming, cock sucking, cum guzzling faggot. You left behind all of us. The ones who cared for you. The ones you called friends.

You've changed. And I know you will never read this. And in case you somehow do, I don't give a shit.

Then you have the audacity to stop and talk to two of your old friends while you were in Shaw's the other night. Pretending as if everything was cool between all of you. But I can guess at what both of them may have been thinking at the time. And let me tell you, it isn't something you'd like to hear. Not ever.

Sure. Fine. Whatever. It's all done with. And I'm thankful.

This is my new place to write. I am not sure how well I will keep up with it, but I am going to try my hardest. For the most part, there is where I will write EVERYTHING I have on my mind.

So just as a heads up to whoever decides to read this LiveJournal...

If you are not going to like what I have to write, don't read.

But no worries. I will try not to be too harsh. And no, I do not plan on bashing people. That is not the purpose of this. I just feel like my MySpace blogs don't do justice for me. And with this, there is less drama because people don't seem to do anything other than browse people's MySpace pages.

So...enough rambling. Time to get down to business.